braykin nooz

[Simon B]

Hmm, Oitee musst sownd loik illojikle rurbidge.....It's only for a laugh and we dont get too many of them these days, it must take him ages to type it all in unless...Its actually a transcription via one of those special PCs for Dyslexics like an ex of mine had, you talk and it recognises the phonetics.

[John Kennett]

Rob

Can't you make out any of the words at all?

John

[Rob Jones]

Nope - I can pick up the fact that it is "Braking News", by the time I have read it and try to decipher it I have lost the chain of thought as to the thread. I dont know if he does it as a joke (in which case its not funny anymore) or is he from neverland?

[Rob Jones]

yus. aggaynst mi beter jujjmint, de bastud az bin sined upp too werk ofshaw. i av givv im a bigg fkin ribb mayd ov aloy an gerders. ifn hee brayks de fkker hee wil bee reeassined too dyvin werk(mynus ayr bottuls)


I reckon this must read

"Yes, against my better judgment, the bastard has been sined up to work offshore. I have given him a big fucking RIB made of alloy girders. If he brakes the fucker he will be reassigned to divng work (minus air bottles)"

Thing is I now need to work out the original topic, to see how this fits together.

[benc]

c'mon rob, it really isnt that hard... just read it aloud... as Roy Walker would say "say what you see"!

[Shaggy]

Is he Captin Birdseye?

Shaggy

[The Garrfish]

Stopp pykinn onn mye mayt yew twats..
gARRF







wich bastud nikt mi redd blobbs
__________________________-

[MikeCC]

Originally Posted by Rob jones

Are you English?

For once why dont you quit with the gibberish and communicate in a normal manner.

I read your strings over and over and they just annoy me - not sure how anybody can reply to you.

Never had a problem with gArfs posts. They first reminded me of those old computer training ads - uf ucn rd thz thn u cn lrn comptrs - or something like. What was your profession again Rob?!

Never having met him, I've no idea what he sounds like. I'm sure having a suitable accent in mind would only add.

WTF has Rogue been up to anyway?

Mike

[eyeye]

hes gotta be a TAFF

[The Garfish]

Originally Posted by MikeCC

WTF has Rogue been up to anyway?

daiy threee att topp gunn ofshaw skool an de topp gunn pryze iz upp forr grabbs......isemann 1024 poynts rowgwaiv.....998 poynts myld concushon an a feww fkin birns

bakk inn de pewl todaiy forr invershun inn de helly modyewel warin a reebreever. de bastud satt ther coowel az a fkin kewcumber til hee woz tirned upsyde dowen. den de pannic startid. fare plaiy too de nobb. hee gott too de sirfiss furst owt ov sikks affter nokkin too uvver bastuds unconshus.

de mp seshun woz gettin inn a lyferafft wiv de waiv masheen onn. de nobba spennt forr minnits scrablin too gett inn butt givv upp threw egzorstiun. hee hadunt nowtist dat wee ad tyed a rowp too iz bakk an woz oldin im bakk. fuk mee hee woz nott amewsed. heez beter noww heez ad sum O3. hee az losst nyne pownds inn threee daiys an iz boddy iz ritin chekks dat arr sirtin too bownce

toomorow iz passin owt paraid an a fkin gud pis up.

gArf

[Richard B]

Originally Posted by Shaggy

Is he Captin Birdseye?

More like cap'n one-eye!

[jwalker]

Originally Posted by The Garfish

.... fuk mee hee woz nott amewsed...

[Pete7]

He is going to come back looking like a lean, mean fighting machine after spending all his off duty time in the gym . He has limited internet access so a digi camera is on the way up to him to record his life and cultural experences working on a North sea oil rig support ship, driving a rib 40 foot rib in support of a diving team.

We are also sending him a soap on a rope so he can't drop it.

[The Garfish]

Originally Posted by Pete7

He is going to come back looking like a lean, mean fighting machine

yus. i towld im dat orl de booz soled ofshaw woz dewty freee. hee cudunt gett owt ther fasst enuf. wot i didunt tel im woz dat iz shipp iz drye

hee az past de corse wiv flyin culors butt hee didunt kwite cum topp cuz ov de likkul aksident too wan ov de uvver stoodents (RPI).

hee woz tuk too cee iz bote todaiy wich iz a oshun dinamiks wiv a worter jett.
hee lukt att itt verry suspishusly. wots upp wiv yew yew twatt sed i. i downt fkin lyke itt sed hee. wots rong wiv itt sed i. itts gott wan ov dem fkin imoc raydios sed hee. wot a ungraytful fatt fing.

eny waiys hee woz lodid innto a choppa an ofn hee wennt. he thort hee woz gowin ome forr de weakend forr a feww beeres an a kwik shagg beeforr shipin owt. wot hee duzunt noe iz dat ther iz a eemerjuncy inn de norf see an tenshuns arr hie.

hee shud bee bakk att de ennd ov orgust forr orl dem dat hee ows munny too.

gArf

[Rogue Wave]

I am in de Norf C-

we god Diving today, I am very impressed with the operation. I amdriving a Ribworker 40, which is an incredibly well set up Dive boat.

I,lll try and get permission to take some photos

[stedj]

garf u make me laugh

[The Garfish]

Originally Posted by Rogue Wave

I am in de Norf C

yus an yew carnt cum bakk yett. an stopp fkin mownin jus cuz de winnd iz blowin att fiffty fkin notts an thers sevven meeter sees. downt fink yew cann skyve orf erly. wot doo yew fink yew woz givven a lyfe jakkit forr


gArf

sp. wee woz gonna sennd yew a fewd parsel but dat bastud fuler ait itt orl

spp. i ope yorr toobs aynt tuchin de worter

[Gav]

Originally Posted by Rogue Wave

I am in de Norf C-

we god Diving today, I am very impressed with the operation. I amdriving a Ribworker 40, which is an incredibly well set up Dive boat.

I,lll try and get permission to take some photos

WTF are you doing at sea fatboy?

[Rogue Wave]

Originally Posted by Gav

WTF are you doing at sea fatboy?

Earning Shedloads!

I am driving a Dive rib as part of a massive ovehaul program for an FPSO (Floating Production Platform) about 150 miles off shore.

there are 27 Divers on board and they Dive at all hours of Daylight. Its very interesting and I am working on ROV Operators bigtine so I can have a drive of that.

It is a huge learning curve, but interesting.

in future please call me no so Fatboy cos I have already lost ten pounds ) no noy Money) cos I am down the Gym everyday

Cheers

Stuart

[Rogue Wave]

Originally Posted by The Garfish

gArf

sp. wee woz gonna sennd yew a fewd parsel but dat bastud fuler ait itt orl

Some mate he turned out to be