Carver wanted

thewavehumper · 31 October 2002, 21:56

Is anybody out there able to Carve, i have had an idea for the rib.net meeting for a bit of Fun. it shouldn't take much time if anybody can carve and is interested send me a PM please

cheers
Stuart

Bittentobuggery · 31 October 2002, 22:35

"Carver Wanted"

This is the wording on an outlaw poster from Lorna Doone. right ?

A friend of mine used to do great things with a Bowie knife and a piece of timber. His Mum actually became more famous when she had her portrait painted. You may have heard of the painting, it was known as "Whittler's Mother".

Stuart, apologies for the flippancy. This is due to : -

1. Hugo not sticking his head back over the parapet.
2. A long and intimate acquaintance with Stella tonight.
3. £ 360 win on the Celtic v Blackburn game tonight.

All the Best

Brian

Bittentobuggery · 01 November 2002, 11:32

Stuart,

With my sensible, sober head on this morning, I do actually know somebody with the capabilities that I think you are seeking. He has built his own musical instruments in the past and is something of a perfectionist.

Problem is, he doesn't do anything fast and if you want something turning around in a hurry, he's definitely not your man.

As he's retired, he'd probably do it for beer 'n baccy money.

See what other offers you get, and if at some stage you wanted to take it further, just send me a PM.

All the Best

Brian

p.s. Apologies again for trashing your thread last night. It was not in any way meant to be personal, just inebriated exuberance.

Brian · 01 November 2002, 12:27

I want to know who Stella is and what she did to you to make you so, so, so...............this morning?

thewavehumper · 01 November 2002, 12:31

Thank Brian,

I love a bit of Banyer and the Whittlers mother crack was a good one. Well done on the footie, the last person I heard of that one money on a footie game was Dave Gorman!

I am thinking of having a tenner on the Saints this weekend i might get lonmg odds

Regards
Stuart

gaelforce · 01 November 2002, 12:48

3. £ 360 win on the Celtic v Blackburn game tonight.

You jammy bugger! And I bet you took the money with a straight face.

thewavehumper · 01 November 2002, 13:15

uh oh two Brians this could be complicated, Brian, I think the Stella that Brian is referring to, is well travelled and has been enjoyed by many men and even so is still reassuringly expensive

Brian · 01 November 2002, 15:19

Well I dont care how much she charges!
Brian-you let me know her address mate. No-one does that to a friend of mine and gets away with it !!

Bittentobuggery · 02 November 2002, 10:42

Brian,

It’s not like you to be lost for words…

My relationship with Stella has been ongoing for many years and is, if anything, becoming more intense of late. It started before I met my wife and has been carried on, in some cases furtively, ever since. (A sort of Camilla thing if you like, but with a better head on it)

To me Stella is compulsive and alluring. I’m driving home from work and I start to get the urge. I try to resist but I soon find myself in an encounter with Stella in some shady back street establishment. Sometimes I find I’ve been with Stella all night and I just feel terrible in the morning.

Gael,

Justly deserved, my son. Regrettably my £ 360 win is small beer (you see I think about Stella all the time) compared to some of my horrific losses on the Dow futures this year. If my wife ever found out about that, I’d definitely get the “Solicitor’s letter” that she’s always threatening me with.

However Gamblers will always tell about what they win and I did have a result on 16th March this year. I won over £ 3,600 on Premiership Multis + Total Goal Minutes, and that was after being £ 350 down after only 23 seconds when Geoff Unsworth scored for Everton in the first minute in David Moyes first game in charge.

Anyway you win some, you lose many…

Stuart,

You should get around 7-1 for Southampton and that represents good value.

I wouldn’t take that myself as I think the bet in this match is total goals at 2.7 - 3.0
With Van Nistleroy back and Beattie and Ormerod in good form I think this is a Buy at 3.0, and that’s what I’ve done for £100 per goal today.

If you really fancy Southampton, the Premiership Winning Distances bet with Sporting Index might be for you. Quoted at 90 – 105, this relates to the mileage that the away team has to travel and is only counted if the away team WINS. The total mileage of all (if any) AWAY WINNING teams is then added together.

Bolton travel 102 miles
West Ham 216 miles
Southampton 215 miles
Man City 87 miles

Despite Liverpool being nailed on with the bookies, I just have a sneaking feeling that the Hammers may turn them over today, even without Di Canio.
So my rash bet today (as if all the others were sensible ! ) is winning distances at £ 3 per mile.

WARNING: SPREAD BETTING CAN SERIOUSLY AFFECT YOUR WEALTH

DISCLAIMER: The above selections are posted for entertainment purposes only and do not constitute recommendations

Don’t you just hate lawyers and litigants !

Well that’s all my skeletons out of the cupboard. Er, well not quite actually, but the rest can wait for another day.

All the Best

Brian