Help!!!

Stoo · 21 October 2006, 23:28

My "significant other" (previously referred to as "Boat Tender") has just accused me of loving my boat more than her. I have just made the fatal mistake of hesitating before I answered her. Now what do I do???

We're just going out for dinner. I'd appreciate some good replies when I get back. Winter is coming and I don't want to have to sleep in the yard!

Thanks!

alt · 21 October 2006, 23:33

Happened many a time to me.. she just laugh's it off

codprawn · 21 October 2006, 23:34

Simple - give her bottom a good scrub - does them both the power of good.....

Nos4r2 · 22 October 2006, 00:10

Tell her the pause was because you were stunned she could think such a thing

Stoo · 22 October 2006, 03:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by codprawn

Simple - give her bottom a good scrub - does them both the power of good.....

Now that has definite possibilities! Hopefully neither will have barnacles!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nos4r2

Tell her the pause was because you were stunned she could think such a thing

LOL.. I tried exactly that... didn't buy it!

alt · 22 October 2006, 15:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stoo

Now that has definite possibilities! Hopefully neither will have barnacles!

As long as there's no crabs you should be fine

Stoo · 22 October 2006, 16:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by alt

As long as there's no crabs you should be fine

I knew that was coming! It seems all is forgiven. I will spend the day practising my "Oh no Honey..." response for next time!

alt · 22 October 2006, 16:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stoo

I knew that was coming! It seems all is forgiven. I will spend the day practising my "Oh no Honey..." response for next time!

Which costs more to run?!

Stoo · 22 October 2006, 16:27

Quote:

Originally Posted by alt

Which costs more to run?!

LOL... Well, so far, the first one has the record for that. (Her running costs weren't too bad, it was the disposal fee that killed me. I presume she was considered "hazardous waste" or something!)

The new improved model is a joy to operate. She is a smaller, sleaker model, but seems to have higher upkeep costs. Mercifully, this model is able to earn her own keep.

I guess time will tell, but I hope to have this one a while!

Stoo · 22 October 2006, 17:29

...of a funny post I saw on a other forum someplace:

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but uninstall doesn't seems to be working on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)

___________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support